Wicked, Weak or Weird: The Problem with Fictional Mothers

THE FULL STORY

Moms are the worst. At least that’s what many children’s book authors would like our children to believe. From the wicked stepmothers of classic fairytales and Matilda’s vain and neglectful mother in the Roald Dahl classic, to the unconditionally loving albeit somewhat creepy mother in Robert’s Munsch’s Love You Forever, fictional moms are often depicted as mean, absent or weak.

The question is, when so many mothers are gloriously fierce and strong in reality, why does this happen? But also—does it matter, when we’re talking about fiction? (Spoiler alert: Yes.) And should we be doing something to counteract it?

Once Upon a Mother

According to Dr. Sarah Caré, a children’s literature postdoctoral researcher at Charles University in Prague, the “representation of women and mothers in literature has evolved with time, depending on how mothers were viewed in society in different eras.” For example, due to the high mortality rates of women in childbirth in the 19^th century, it was easy for the brothers Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm to orchestrate the convenient demise of the ideal biological mother and create the wicked stepmother trope. In their version of Cinderella, for example, the young girl’s mother dies of an undisclosed illness and her father remarries within the year. Poor Cinderella is left in the care of an abusive stepmother and is forced to “bring the water, to make the fire, to cook and to wash” and is “made to lie by the hearth among the ashes.” Thanks to the Brothers Grimm and, more than a century later, the Brothers Disney, generations of children were taught biological mothers are good and stepmothers are evil.

As Caré explains, “On the positive side, the mother archetype embodies maternal love, nurturing and comfort, and on the opposite side, it represents horror, darkness and death.” Why do children’s books rarely provide alternatives? Caré claims it’s because these books continue to sell well.

The Good, the Bad and the Absent

Of course, the good mothers in children’s literature fulfill all the normative rules of motherhood. To Caré, this means they are the “child’s biological mother and primary caregiver, they stay at home, they cannot exist without their children, and they are ever-loving, omnipotent and selfless.” Emily Temple, the managing editor at Lit Hub—an online literary news source for all things books—claims that one of the “unexpected joys of parenthood is developing unnecessarily strong opinions about children’s book characters.” As such, she plotted 24 mothers from well-known children’s stories on her Good Parent Matrix. Temple measured these fictional mothers based on the following criteria: How present or absent they are in their children’s lives and their level of toxicity contrasted with whether (in Temple’s view) the mother “has a good therapist.”

The mother in Robert Munsch’s Love You Forever ranked as highly present, but also highly toxic. Temple shares, “I don’t care how much you love your adult son, you cannot be climbing into his window at night to hold him in your arms. Among other things, his wife is not going to appreciate that. Gotta admire the dexterity on this old lady, though.”

In contrast, the mother in Eloise by Kay Thompson is basically out of the picture yet also considered toxic. Temple asserts, “She has left her six year old to live in the Plaza with a nanny while she goes to Europe and to Paris and sometimes to Virginia with her lawyer. On the other hand, she does have a charge account at Bergdorf’s, which is a quality I always wanted in a mother.” Mother Cottontail in DuBose Heyward’s The Country Bunny and the Little Gold Shoes is positioned quite positively on Temple’s matrix. She observes, “The Country Bunny is a single parent with 21 children. Well, she raised them right—to take care of themselves and each other—and as a result of her efforts, when she re-enters the workforce, she gets her dream job, the requirements of which are being kind, swift and wise. That’ll show those Jack Rabbits.”

How to Counteract Negative Stereotypes in Books

Prior to becoming a maternal theory scholar, I authored children’s stories and books for 25 years. Kathy Stinson, one of my favourite Canadian children’s authors, wrote an authoritative guide on how to write picture books titled, Writing Picture Books: What Works and What Doesn’t. In this book Stinson confirms what I was told many times as a novice writer—children do not want to read stories that highlight their dependence on adults. Stinson stresses that children “need to feel a sense of their power, in their lives and, at the very least, in their literature” and authors should not permit their stories “to be stolen from the children by a well-meaning adult.” Equally important, however, is that these fictional adults do not portray negative, sexist or racist stereotypes.

Spencer Miller, digital media coordinator at the Canadian Children’s Book Centre, shares that he is seeing a positive new trend in children’s literature: “Today, mothers are more present in the children’s stories I read. I see more well-rounded characters, allowed to have flaws, allowed to have their owns thoughts, histories and desires. I see more mothers willing to let their children take risks, make mistakes and save the world (and they stick around to help!).” Miller suggests parents check out books written by Wanda John-Kehewin, such as Hopeless in Hope, the Dreams graphic novel series, and her picture book Maya Wears Orange. He adds, “I also loved the mother-child relationship depicted in the picture book Truckin’ written by Nancy Hundal and illustrated by Angela Poon.

Find the Teachable Moment

But what if you are reading a book to your child and you come across a cringe-worthy, unflattering, outdated, sexist or racist character or representation? Remember, just because adults are often absent in fictional children’s books, they are very present in the real lives of children and can play a meaningful role in turning negative depictions into positive teaching moments. Spencer’s advice to parents is to “Say something! Sometimes we hesitate because we feel we might not have all the right words. But saying anything is better than saying nothing. Invite your child to be a part of the conversation. Ask questions. What do you notice? Does this feel wrong? Is this different than how we think?”

Like parents, children’s authors and the characters they create are not perfect. We are all products of our time, cultures, and personal experiences. Save the Children Canada reminds us, “As children grow beyond their early years, they begin to more consistently reflect the views and behaviours of the people who mean the most to them.” What’s more, being a good role model means demonstrating thoughtful, inclusive behaviour and calling out sexism, racism or hate in real time. In my book, this is one of most important roles we have as real live parents.

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